What am I...?

The morning was somewat overcast, but the day was otherwise beautiful.  Fall is definitely on the way to Central Florida.  Early morning temperature was around 74 degrees and the day ended with temps in the mid 80's....hooray!!!  We have dropped well below 90 for a change.

Things between my husband and I are not good.  Since he came home and got bent because I didn't put water in the van before driving it, I've been a bit pissed.  As I told him, all he had to do is say 'put water in the van before you go anywhere'...I don't pop the hood and check anything before I hit the key.  HE was the one with the hood open, so he knew it needed water.  We have had this discussion before.  His thing...drive it til it breaks...after I tell him something is wrong.  My thing...if I have to drive junk, then you need to make sure its runable...

After telling him Friday evening to 'take your pissy mood back to where you got it'..when he came home and went off, we haven't said much to each other.  HE doesn't want to address any issues ever, just ignore it and it will go away.  We all know that doesn't work.  I finally lost it on him after having two different buddies stop in and him having absolutely no problem carrying a conversation with them.  What am I...too STUPID for you to talk to?

I've had a knot in my chest, burning in my gut and a headache because of the way he makes me feel...this has lasted for two days now.  It really depresses me to know that my husband can carry a conversation with everyone but me.  It hasn't always been that way, we used to talk about everything.  I think the burning in my gut is being aggravated by the amount of smoking I've done the past two days also...figures, I say I want to try and quit and he triggers an episode.  I can't eat, can't sleep and am only becoming more and more depressed over the situation with him.  He doesn't seem to want a wife, just a tv set and someone to read and cook for him.  He reads, he just doesn't like to....which means, no matter what I'm doing, he expects me to stop and come read the tv menu....that's ONSCREEN in front of his face.  Guess I must be pretty STUPID indeed...I've been trying to be a loving wife to him for the last seventeen years...Stupid...yep, that's me.