The second day of Fall....

As we begin our second day of Fall, the morning is overcast and a cool 79 degrees at 7 am...the humidity is at 73 % this morning, but it is not stuffy.  Just one of the differences as we change seasons.  We are forecast for rain today from a front sitting off our coast.  Seems there's another depression forming out around Puerto Rico that the weathercasters are watching...and another spot out in the Gulf.   Hurricane season doesn't end until November 30.  We are beginning to move into our 'dry season'.

Things on the homefront continue to be a bit tense.  I've made an attempt to try and 'make up', but he still wants to shut me out.  He just can't seem to see just how destructive this type of behavior is to the relationship. 

I've been giving quite a bit of thought as to how to cope with my feelings.  These feelings I can only compare to the loss of someone very close and special.  It is like I have had my very best friend die.  Similar to the feelings of loss that I experienced when my Mother and Sister both passed.  Extreme sadness, almost to the point of becoming incapacitated by the sorrow of losing them.  At least with my Mother and Sister, who both died of cancer, I felt they were in a better place and knew they were not suffering any longer.  It was the loss of their presence in my life that made me so sad.  This ache in my heart for my husband could only be greater if he were to die.  We had that close of a bond.

As I sit here and write this morning, the sun has decided to break through the cloud cover, filling the back pasture with golden light as it bounces from tree to tree, casting shadows across the ground and bright spots on the greenery above.  This sight once gave me solace and peace...a bit of joy as I embraced the beginning of each new day.  The sight reminds me so much of the mountain that all I can do today is cry....I just want to go home...home to the mountain and away from the pain in my soul.  I wish I had never come to Florida...I wish I had never allowed myself to fall in love with this man...I wish things were different...

Weekend in paradise...

Saturday was pretty uneventful...hung at the house most of the day...too wet to do much of anything outside.

Sunday has been a beautiful sun filled day. After the rain yesterday, today is a welcome sight indeed! The yard still has standing water and I'm looking at just how fast the grass is growing. All this water is sure loved by the grasses and weeds that make our yard look green.

The temperatures today topped out around 90...felt like 100 with the humidity and the steam from the moisture being sucked up from the ground....

Hubby decided to get the weedeater out and attack the high stuff the mower can't get to for one reason or another...usually because you can't tell what may be under the mound of grassy growth!

We're heading to our friends' home in just a bit to talk a bit more about the possibility of us renting their other house...I've got a new bottle of mead...honey wine...to share and try out...its Raspberry and chocolate...mmmmm, slurp....haven't tasted this one yet, but my buddy who makes it says its awesome. Having tried several varieties he makes, I'm sure it will be most excellent, just like the rest!!!! Chocolate cherry mead has to be one of my favorites, so I'm sure the Raspberry chocolate will be another.

Evening in paradise...

The day is drawing to a close...its just past 7pm, the temperatures are beginning to drop as is the humidity, now that the sun is beginning to set.

Hubby is making light of being 'laid off' as he puts it...laid off isn't part of being a 'sub-contractor'....he's hoping that things will be better by the beginning of the week...will be waiting for pay in the meantime...guess its a good thing we are ok financially at the moment. He's already getting into side job mode, ready to line up whatever he can to keep the cash flowing. This is one side of him that I can really appreciate.

For now, he's working on one of the trucks, I think its the one he's putting together to sell, but the way things are for most people, I don't see it bringing much...its a one ton set up for hauling...but you never know.

Looks like we may take off and head for the beach tomorrow. My girlfriend invited me to come and hang out with her tomorrow and since hubby is not going to be at work, he's coming along. Probably won't happen until early afternoon, low tide is early in the morning...around 7am and high tide is around noon...can't drive on the beach during high tide as the water is up over the dunes in most areas. Being down on the water from early morning til high tide isn't likely for either of us as the burn factor will be extreme, especially with the temperatures being so high...I will have to be in the water...and...since I haven't really been hanging out in this gnarly heat and humidity, my sun tolerance is low. By that I mean, even though I'm tanned and have a dark complexion, I haven't been out in the sun for any extended periods lately so my skin's tolerance isn't built up. Living here for so long, I've discovered this...

Just another day in paradise....

Hubby called and asked if I would like to join him for lunch...I needed to go into town for a few errands anyway...so I took the van and off we went....

Once I got to the shop and picked him up, he tells me that he will have Thursday and Friday off this week...seems the work has dropped off so bad right now and with things being what they are, payments for jobs already completed are taking their sweet time coming to the owner, which puts the cash flow down to zero....would have been an excellent weekend to head to the mountain, if only things were ready...like the van. So, now we will have a four day weekend to get a few things accomplished, maybe...he's wanting to line up a side job if we can so we don't 'lose' money with him being off....SIGH...two steps forward.....ten back.

While at lunch, we discussed the offer of the house again...even with the 'disadvantages', it still seems like a do-able proposition. Looks like we shall be exploring this a bit more this evening when we head back over to see them. If we do decide to make the move, it may still be a couple months off....mainly because the place there needs to be cleaned out before I start trying to get our stuff in...as slow as we move, it could be the end of the year before we finally get over there. Our lease here is either already up or getting ready to end in November...can't recall without looking at paperwork...not really important at this point. I spoke with my girlfriend the other day about calling the landlord to make sure he had got the notice regarding our rent posting to his account...I used the 'bill payment' feature on my online account to pay him this month. My account shows that it has posted, but I figured I'd give him a holler and make sure....she tells me that he already mentioned receiving it and was acting all 'hurt' because I'm not carrying it down there and visiting...yipee skipee...I told him in the beginning that I would probably be using the bill pay feature...I don't write checks any longer...everything is paid online. In any event, I let hubby know that right now, with the attitude the landlord has (I just don't think you can afford the place), even if he GAVE it to me, I'd have a hard time accepting it, just because I have such a bad taste from trying to get a figure from him...I'm over it. Hubby agreed and like me, is ready to move on...change...AAARRRRGGGG.

For now, the temperature has hit 92 degrees, the humidity is up to the point it feels like 99...just flat hot. It isn't much cooler inside, as the heat just drops through the ceiling...its close to 90 in the house with the A/C cranking since this morning before 9am....killing the pocketbook with the electricity being consumed at this point...I'm sure not looking forward to the electric bill for this coming month.